One thing I have learned is that living life in reactive mode will not contribute much to health and happiness. If a person lets issues and problems that come up all day dictate your actions and decisions, then life and problems will be running you.
Conversely, if you live life by design and anticipate problems ahead of time, then it’s much easier to feel in control of your day. This gives you the chance to lead a pro-active instead of a reactive life! …huge difference!
For me, I know that I will be hungry on the road and will hit a drive through if I am not prepared… so, I pack a cooler of healthy food every single day before I leave home. I also know that once baby wakes up, I won’t be able to get a good workout done, so forcing myself out of bed at 5 am to get it done is a proactive way to ensure it happens and is enjoyable.
There are many other ways to live proactively …be creative and anticipate issues that may come up and be well-prepared to swing with the punches with a smile! I have been learning this and it really is life changing! No more spending my days reacting to one issue after another! Take some time to think about how much reacting you do in your daily life…you may be surprised!
Often times we get caught up in worrying about what other people think, making other people happy, satisfying others, all of which we think will ultimately make us happy, when in reality… We aren’t doing anything that WE want at all.
We are simply holding our own life hostage, while we begin to live our life for other people, and not for us. We often fall onto other peoples accomplishments, and other peoples lives in general as to what we should be doing, we begin to live our lives trying to match what others are doing… Whether it be buying a house, getting a nice vehicle, having a baby, getting married, going on a trip, being ultra fit as a runner, body builder… Any of those things, it’s very easy to start to want another persons life, another persons timeline.
Sometimes we say to ourselves “I need to do this” … “I should be doing that”, as we see the happiness on social media or down the street, sometimes we start to believe that the life we imagined we would have seems to be being lived by someone else, and it’s easy to fall into jealousy.
What to do about this?
The only answer I can give you, is once we stop trying to live someone else’s life and start living our own… It opens so many doors to life that we never even knew existed. The most important thing is NOT to make other people proud, to do what you think others want, or trying to compete with a fancy car, a baby or a bikini body. Discussing this reminds me of a quote “Don’t compare your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 10”.
We all get started at different times, find our passions at different times, meet the person of our dreams at different times. The time spent not with that person, or with those moments isn’t wasted time, it’s time to grow, time to live and most importantly it’s time to make yourself proud of guess who… YOURSELF!
Why is it important to be proud of yourself?
Once we begin to be proud of who we are, it changes everything. We stop looking for other peoples lives to mimick, and simply live our own. I know we all struggle with this, but the best thing you can do, is begin to live your life. It doesn’t matter who is proud of you, once you are proud of yourself… It begins. Life begins.
What you focus on is what you get. I have slowly learned to focus on what I want to achieve instead of focusing on why it is not possible or why it can’t be done. No more of that crap for me!! I now focus on the positive outcome I want and it just happens…by doing this, my vision naturally pulls me along!
The way it used to be was that I would always be telling myself what I “should” be doing and groaning at how difficult it was. This is NO way to get motivated at all because the focus is all wrong!
I started focusing on feeling positive, energized, toned, chiseled and happy with some muscles, having a passion for life and what I am doing and this kind of vision just pulls me along with a huge smile and energy!!
Having a positive vision with strong associated passion works for no matter what you want to achieve!! A healthy body, incredible work life, great friends, a happy family, a great living environment etc…it is worth it to learn to make this mental shift and seriously working on personal development is the only way to get there!
Get fired up and happy with your life! If you would like some suggestions on where to start, don’t hesitate to message me. It is totally life changing and I am proof of that! I have now overcome a very rough childhood past and all of the emotional baggage that comes with that and divorce, and much other crap I have been through! None of that gets me down anymore…I am now thankful I had those experiences to build on the strengths that I now have today…totally a better feeling to have than being dragged down with anger and self-pity!!
Have a fabulous and thankful day today! Day #11 of my 91 day fitness challenge complete!?
Yes, we all have choices….. Sleep in or get up early to work out? Hit the drive-thru or take a bit of time to meal plan and meal prep? Watch mindless TV or do some personal development? Buy an expensive handbag or sneakers or invest in a superfood and workout program?
Hey, its true that where you spend your time and money are where your priorities are. I urge you to make the sacrifices you need to make to live a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life.
I’m all about quality of life versus the quantity of things I own. I want to be able travel the world with my family and spend many more years together. I want to see my great grandchildren graduate high school and get married. I want to prevent generations of family to come from having high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer and diabetes.
Speaking of quality of life, I have truly learned to value personal growth, health and happiness over money and this mind-shift alone has totally changed my life.
Examine what you can eliminate in your life to ultimately make YOU (your health and happiness) the priority. And to help you to do that, the next time you hear yourself say “I don’t have the time” or “I don’t have the money”, try saying instead that “It’s really not a priority” and see how THAT feels.
So, if you’ve been stuck up on the fence, unable to make a decision, paralyzed and afraid to take the jump toward your happiness, I am zooming in today to help you. Today is the day that we will work on making plans and making the decision to get off the fence!
So, how does a person do that?
Here are the 5 Steps To Get Off The Fence. It’s time to make a plan to get happy and making progress in life!
Step 1 — Determine Where You’re Stuck
The first step to get off the fence and live a fulfilling existence, is self-awareness. You have to figure out where you’re blocked, stuck or not making progress. This takes time alone, and the ability to be still and quiet to think about where you are not happy. Exercises such as making two lists: One list called “CHANGES/IMPROVEMENTS I WANT TO MAKE”, and the other list is called the “OFF THE FENCE/HAPPINESS ACTION PLAN”. So, for example, if you want to start your own business, on the left hand side, you would write, “Start my own business,” and on the right hand side, it would read, “Moonlight my start-up on the side, working ninety minutes at night and four hours on the weekends until I am making some money and can quit my day-job to focus on my business full time.”
The trick is, the more detailed your two lists are, the better. Post your list in a visible spot. It holds you accountable, and keeps your eye on the prize.
Step 2 — Commit to Doing the Work
Know that nothing will work unless you do. One of my mentors says, “Nobody ever drowned in their own sweat.” It was something that really sunk in and always stuck with me. I believe and and taught my kids that “hard work is always rewarded”. Happiness doesn’t come without a commitment to happiness. Without work. Your happiness is a choice. You getting what you want out of life is YOUR DECISION. And the same holds true for your unhappiness. So, commit to doing the work. Whatever your goals are, commit to hustling to make them happen.
Know that sitting perched on the fence is paralysis. To live stuck is like residing in purgatory. Most people stay stuck because it’s a comfortable place to not have to commit and see something through. But you can’t manifest your highest self without making a decision, no matter how small. It’s about that first baby step. You MUST take it. If you are having a hard time moving forward, consider hiring a private coach to help you! For heaven sakes, take action!
Step 3 — Expand Your Skills
Yes. Expand your skills and commit to learning something new. Often we stay stuck and on the fence because we don’t have the skills and knowledge needed to move forward. So work at getting that knowledge and expand your skills. This could mean taking up a new hobby, enrolling in a course, volunteering, or simply giving away your expertise for free. What I mean here is, if you want to become a PAID speaker for example, speaking for free is a great way to get your name our there, and gain experience and expertise. If you want to start a consulting company, offer coaching or consulting for FREE at the beginning, both to get your feet wet, AND to build a customer base.
Expanding your skills does not only mean just enrolling in courses and acquiring new knowledge, it also means putting the current knowledge you have to work…. (ACTION!)
Step 4 — Get Out There and Meet NEW People
Commit to taking up a new hobby, volunteering, getting more involved in your community, or joining a networking group — for the purpose of meeting NEW people. We often meet the people we need once we get out there and make an effort. When you reach out to people in your network, ask for help, discuss options, then you will acquire the knowledge to help you get off the fence and move towards your goals.
If you allow yourself to just be open, and to join places like your local Community Groups, book club, sports or activity club, a writing group, traveling to live events or finding a mentor….it will naturally happen that you will meet the people who will help you move toward your goals.
Step 5 — Make More Time for the Things You Love To Do
When you do the things you love to do, it helps boost your serotonin levels (the happiness hormone), which aids in fighting depression, and other mood disorders. Doing the things you love can put you in a state of euphoria, lowering your cortisol levels (the bad hormone), which clears your mind and allows you to make good, quality decisions. For me, I love spending time with my sisters — we laugh, have fun, and it does my mind and body good. I also love spending time alone in a bookstore, working on personal development, or just perusing the aisles in an art section of a store. It calms me and regroups me. What is it for you?
When you do what you love, you are being good to yourself. You are spoiling yourself. And spoiling yourself is your right. Feeling good allows you to make clear decisions. Do it, guilt-free.
In the same token, it cannot be stressed enough the importance of the following four factors in sharpening your mind for effective and strategic decision making:
Get a healthy amount of sleep
Maintain an active lifestyle and get daily exercise
Healthy nutrition and superfood to feed the body and mind
Meditation (Spend adequate time to relax without interruption when the mind is quiet)
So my wish for all of you, is to get off the fence as soon as possible!!! it will free up your mind and allow you to move forward in life and achieve great and passionate things!!
To join the Athletic Grandma community and to get your FREE download about how to improve your self-discipline, please click HERE..
(Acknowledgement: ‘The 5 Steps to get off the fence” Adapted from Erica Diamond, at www.womenonthefence.com)
What is the definition of self-discipline? It’s making yourself do something that you need to do even though you really do NOT want to.
After going non-stop like a maniac 18 hours a day all week, I was definitely not feeling much ‘get up and go’ at all. I laid in bed for as long as possible, hitting the snooze button several times, then finally when I started to hear the 2-year old stirring, I realized that if I didn’t kick my butt out of bed now, that I would have zero chance to do my workout!! This was enough to get me moving!
This sweet little 2-year old grandson that I have with me full-time is very busy and determined to keep me busy with all his requests all day…LOL. Grandma taking an hour to work out would just not go over well! He is in that fun phase now. Lol?
I am happy to say that despite my fatigue and zero motivation, I got the whole 52 minutes of exercise in this morning… it was not perfect and I could not keep up with every push-up they did, but I can say with satisfaction that it is DONE!
Speaking of Self-discipline, it makes us stronger in more ways than just physically…
Self-discipline is an essential skill pretty much for every area of our life!! It is likely one of the most important and helpful skills everyone needs! My experience is, though most people agree that it is an important skill, very few people actually do something to strengthen it!
Remember something… self-discipline does not mean being rough towards yourself, or living in a limited way. What self discipline really means is to have self control, which is an indication of inner strength and control of yourself, your actions, and your reactions.
Self discipline gives you the power to stick to your decisions and follow them through, without changing your mind, and is therefore, one of the important requirements for achieving goals.
The possession of self-discipline enables you to persevere with your decisions and plans until you accomplish them. It shows as inner strength, helping you to overcome addictions, past emotional crisis such as abuse, procrastination and laziness, and to follow through with whatever you do.
Over the last couple of years I’ve come to see self-discipline as an invisible magic. You can’t see, taste, or smell it, but its effects are massive. Self-discipline can transform fat into fit, flabby into muscular, ignorance into expertise, poor into rich, and miserable into happy! It’s the hidden part of you that others just don’t see when they see your ‘genius’.
Self-discipline has made me happier; it give me the sense of real achievement that is earned through sustained focus and small successes along the way. I have learned that if you really want to succeed at anything, then achieving some degree of self-discipline is essential!!
So, what about you?
Right here, right now, as you’re reading this, you may be at a crossroads in your life. You can stick to your old habits and patterns, knowing deep down you’re not living nearly at the level you’re capable of… Or you can use this post as a catalyst towards greatness by realizing that this does apply to you and by implementing the strategies contained in the attached download for you..
Today could be the day you start developing incredible willpower and discipline. Anyone can do this. It all starts with a decision.
To learn 7 ways to achieve self-discipline, CLICK HERE.
I remember the days when I was regularly pissed off with myself because I was not slim, didn’t look like I “should”, didn’t have enough money like others, didn’t drive a nice enough car, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not successful enough etc… until I realized that this was a society comparison trap!
OMG! What others have or do has nothing to do with me!
Until we really open our mind and think about it, we don’t even realize we are thinking this way and much of it is unconscious based on what we have experienced or heard in our lives about what who we “should” be or do in the world. I realized that thinking this way will make us perpetually unhappy and definitely affect our ability to feel good about ourself!
How to change this though?
Part of how I improved on this way of thinking and get out of this “trap” was to study myself and learn about my personality and discover what strengths as an individual that I bring to the world. Only then was I really able to appreciate my uniqueness and abilities. I am still working on this, but it has made a HUGE difference in how I feel about myself! ?
In this process of self-discovery, I am learning to love myself. It’s probably the hardest thing I have ever done.
Remember…we are individuals and have our own uniqueness which truly makes us who we are! Learn to love those special things that make you who YOU are and realize that comparing is a total (most often subconscious) trap!
Exercise: Ask yourself what you are currently unsatisfied about in your life. Take a few minutes to write it down on a piece of paper. What did you notice or feel bad about yourself when you were in your school years? What about you seemed different from others, but you wanted to change it to be more like other people? What were your dreams as a child that were squashed by others opinions or by societal norms? Lets have some discussion about this in the comments section below!
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