I remember the days when I was regularly pissed off with myself because I was not slim, didn’t look like I “should”, didn’t have enough money like others, didn’t drive a nice enough car, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not successful enough etc… until I realized that this was a society comparison trap!
OMG! What others have or do has nothing to do with me!
Until we really open our mind and think about it, we don’t even realize we are thinking this way and much of it is unconscious based on what we have experienced or heard in our lives about what who we “should” be or do in the world. I realized that thinking this way will make us perpetually unhappy and definitely affect our ability to feel good about ourself!
How to change this though?
Part of how I improved on this way of thinking and get out of this “trap” was to study myself and learn about my personality and discover what strengths as an individual that I bring to the world. Only then was I really able to appreciate my uniqueness and abilities. I am still working on this, but it has made a HUGE difference in how I feel about myself! ?
In this process of self-discovery, I am learning to love myself. It’s probably the hardest thing I have ever done.
Remember…we are individuals and have our own uniqueness which truly makes us who we are! Learn to love those special things that make you who YOU are and realize that comparing is a total (most often subconscious) trap!
Exercise: Ask yourself what you are currently unsatisfied about in your life. Take a few minutes to write it down on a piece of paper. What did you notice or feel bad about yourself when you were in your school years? What about you seemed different from others, but you wanted to change it to be more like other people? What were your dreams as a child that were squashed by others opinions or by societal norms? Lets have some discussion about this in the comments section below!
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