Your BS Story is Preventing Achievement (So Change It!)

 

The only thing between you and your goals is that BS story you keep feeling yourself as to why you can’t do it!! This is what my personal trainer told me this morning during my weighted cardio workout and she is totally right!! How many times did we make excuses and even what we believe is “good reasons” as to why we didn’t achieve our goals! Far too many! …and in fact we tell ourselves these things do many times that we actually start truly believing they are facts! Scary if you really think about it!

I have learned to recognize it when I have come up with a story… such as being too tired, having no money, not enough sleep, not enough time, telling myself I am just an emotional eater (which then somehow made it OK?), sore muscles, feet aching, sore back from a busy day at work, stress from having a 2-year old, lack of sleep, too young, too old, no good at it, not capable, can’t trust the opposite sex, don’t know how…and the story list just goes on and on and on…!!  The sad part is that we believe these things, identify with them and let them rule our lives!

I have been through all of these excuses and stories myself!  Sometimes when you come from a background of abuse, the stories can get pretty bad.  For example, you may believe you are worth nothing, are useless, not loved, not important, not worthy of love and so many more horrible things!  You can imagine, that if a person lived with those beliefs (stories) that their life would not be very good, successful or full of happiness!  I have had to work hard to overcome many of these stories.  It was not easy, but I am proof that it is totally possible to change your perception of yourself and to change how you perceive your past experiences too!

How do I work on overcoming these stories?  Keep in mind, this is always a work in progress.  My mentor (the late Jim Rohn) speaks about those stories, beliefs and thoughts and uses them as a metaphor like “weeds” growing in a garden.  This is a great metaphor because if you think about it….you cannot ignore those weeds because they will totally overtake the whole garden (weeds of the mind).  Those weeds need to be removed and even once you get the whole garden cleared out of those weeds…what happens?  YES!…those weeds keep trying to come back, so you have to continuously keep pulling out the ones that come up.

This is the same way with those stories…

Once you realize (finally gain insight into yourself) the numerous stories (lies) you have been telling yourself about why you cannot do things or achieve things…its like suddenly noticing your beautiful garden (mind) is packed solid with weeds!!  AHA!  This was definitely an AHA moment for me.  I got myself a coach and started working at getting those weeds pulled out.   It took months of work, emotional turmoil and challenging times…but, believe me, I got that darn garden mostly cleared out …out of pure determination.  However, I realized that a person has to be well-aware that those weeds (stories, lies) will keep trying to come back and keep an eye on the garden at all times to remove them once they pop up!  The lesson here was for me NOT to ignore those feelings, but rather allow them to happen, recognize them, and realize where they are coming from and correct them immediately.

Having this kind of awareness can totally change your life.  Often, to develop this awareness and clean out the garden takes extra help.  Don’t hesitate to get help with this (remember, asking for help is a sign of strength).  Once you take the time to learn this, then you will start to recognize the stories (lies) once they happen.  Once they are recognized, you can stop, identify the lie and replace it with the truth that you know is there.  Its a magical process and is definitely worth learning about!  Once you get to work on this, you will be blown away at what you are capable of achieving in your life!

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How do I compare to others? (does this determine my worthiness?)

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I remember the days when I was regularly pissed off with myself because I was not slim, didn’t look like I “should”, didn’t have enough money like others, didn’t drive a nice enough car, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not successful enough etc… until I realized that this was a society comparison trap!

OMG!  What others have or do has nothing to do with me!

Until we really open our mind and think about it, we don’t even realize we are thinking this way and much of it is unconscious based on what we have experienced or heard in our lives about what who we “should” be or do in the world.  I realized that thinking this way will make us perpetually unhappy and definitely affect our ability to feel good about ourself!

How to change this though?

Part of how I improved on this way of thinking and get out of this “trap” was to study myself and learn about my personality and discover what strengths as an individual that I bring to the world. Only then was I really able to appreciate my uniqueness and abilities. I am still working on this, but it has made a HUGE difference in how I feel about myself! ?

In this process of self-discovery, I am learning to love myself. It’s probably the hardest thing I have ever done.

Remember…we are individuals and have our own uniqueness which truly makes us who we are! Learn to love those special things that make you who YOU are and realize that comparing is a total (most often subconscious) trap!

Exercise:  Ask yourself what you are currently unsatisfied about in your life.  Take a few minutes to write it down on a piece of paper.  What did you notice or feel bad about yourself when you were in your school years? What about you seemed different from others, but you wanted to change it to be more like other people?  What were your dreams as a child that were squashed by others opinions or by societal norms?  Lets have some discussion about this in the comments section below!

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