Loss of self-belief is destructive (I did it to myself)

Little did I know, everything I needed was always inside me!
Little did I know, everything I needed was always inside me!

I really did it this time.   Putting myself on the back-burner and focusing on developing a new business to help others with their medical care.   For months, I was not focused on my health or fitness whatsoever, had huge stress at work (the JOB) and ended up sick with pneumonia and 20 lb heavier.   YUP, not smart.

I started a new business back in March 2017 with a focus on providing medical services to clients in their homes or offices and even through telemedicine.   It was super fun and I was VERY focused on getting people the care they needed with top notch quality.   I found out that when I took my focus off my health at the same time, I ended up on a downward spiral with my health that just kept getting worse.    I was snacking more to keep awake, I was sleeping less, drinking more caffeine, too tired to get up in the morning to work out, just a vicious cycle I was in and could not snap out of it even though I was feeling crappy and knew what I needed to do.

I had a lot of stress at my “JOB”, since, when I started a private medical service in March, there was bullying that took place and, even though I knew I could not work in that environment, I hung onto it because of seniority and the fact that I could retire with my magic 80 after only 5 years!    It kept me going, but only hanging on by a thread.   I was working hard to stay positive, but the bullying got worse and even continued once i resigned from the position.   I felt strong through it all, but once it was over, I felt a heavy weight on me that held me down and made me believe less in myself overall.   I realized after it was all over that I really should have resigned MUCH sooner!

My Pneumonia knocked me flat for 6 weeks in July and August 2017 (which was likely from significant stress from work that had knocked out my immune system)…after that, my energy would just not come back at all.  My digestive system was shot, I had no energy at all, my whole body was sore and I started to feel demotivated and depressed.   Now that I am looking back, I can see what a horrible state I was in, yet I just kept going and helping others since that was the only thing I felt good about.

My mental and physical health seemed to be on a continual downer over September and October as I was not consistently exercising, was still sore all over and was just not sleeping well.  I was really feeling rotton and had no belief in myself at all!    I felt that the only thing that made me worth anything was to provide excellent care to my patients…   It  was fine when I was out on the road seeing patients, I laughed and smiled and enjoyed my work, but when I would get home, its like reality would hit again and I would feel down, and eat crappy food again.

I had booked an event to see Tony Robbins in November (UPW) earlier in the year and was not even excited about going to that.   Before I left, I was trying to pump myself up and feel good about it, but I was feeling guilty about not being available for housecalls while I was away, and just didn’t feel happy.   While at the event, I felt hope creeping back and the intense work we did at the seminar to rediscover the belief in ourself was helping me to re-discover that everything we need to have a happy and fulfilling life is right in side us already.  It is just a matter of finding it and expressing it.   Well, I felt my positive energy climbing and totally participated and did the work.   It felt awesome!

Then, we came home and I felt bloated and icky from all the eating out and snacks…so I weighed myself and realized I had packed on 8 pounds in just one week while i was away.   This really sent the belief in myself down the tubes again.  I felt tired, gross and my whole body hurt.   I made a decision to do a 10-day complete nutrition reset 3 days ago.   I got rid of all snack foods and unhealthy bits from the house and was eating only veggies, healthy proteins and fruits.    The first 2 days of this were very difficult!  I was so tempted to quit because of the severe headaches and body pains i was having.

However, I woke up this morning and could NOT believe how much clearer my mind was!  I was able to get up, do a HIIT workout and then did 30 min of YOGA which was super tough, but I felt a strength inside me that I really could do it!!   I was feeling belief in myself coming back which was very powerful!      It was this morning that I truly realized the power of self-belief and with my renewed energy, am feeling that I will be truly unstoppable from now on.   I decided I will never let myself get sucked into that stress vortex again without exiting PROMPTLY from the situation for my own health.   Sometimes we make excuses for not leaving such as we “need the money” or “don’t want to lose our seniority”….bah to that.   I left 27000 seniority hours and Magic 80 retirement plan behind.   To heck with it.  Being stuck in a stressful scenario is VERY destructive to our health and I was on that downward spiral myself, so I know how it feels!  I could hardly stand myself being like that, but could not snap out of it.

If you are feeling stuck and stressed and not believing in yourself…. seriously, consider doing a nutrition reset for yourself, get OUT of the stressful situation(s) you are in (get out quickly, do not wait!) and just feel the positive energy start to flow.   The belief in yourself will naturally start to happen!  Ask me if you need help with this!

I am feeling very encouraged today and ready to start sharing my health journey again with a new start and I hope that you will continue to follow me and learn from my mistakes.   We are human and do make far too many mistakes, but as long as we learn from them, we are still growing as a person.   Just KNOW that everything you need to have a happy and fulfilled life is inside you RIGHT NOW.

I am going to start today by re-educating myself on the key tips to achieve SELF DISCIPLINE.  I have put a copy HERE for you as well!

 

 

Hindsight is 20-20 (Those Aha Moments!)

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This may look like a relaxing pose, but in reality it’s very difficult! For me to sit still and relax, to breathe and get centered is a real challenge! Throughout the program I am doing now, it’s a continuous flow style of pilates and yoga which is amazing! The workout though has times when there is a need to stop moving, quiet the mind and turn those thoughts inward. These are the hardest for me to do!

You know how we have these “aha” moments when something bad happens to you and you realize that it has happened for a reason? Well I had one of those moments this morning when I realized that this type of program was exactly what I needed and my illness was what forced me into it! 😳

I am still coughing and feel rather miserable with my blocked sinuses and headache… but at least there are slight improvements each day which give me hope!  … and I am so glad to be doing a program and feeling some bit of achievement each day!  Every stretch and pushup these days helps me feel like I am doing something beneficial for my health.

I am starting a new 21-day intense nutrition reset program this coming week which is focused on cleansing, detoxifying and alkalinizing the body. I am eager for a total reset like this and I think it’s likely long overdue! I am excited about it and the potential for it to be life-changing!

if you feel like you need a health “reset” too, contact me!

#ahamoment #realizations #happensforareason #athleticgrandma #health #mindfulness #awakeninnerpower