The 100% rule has completely changed my life!! 100% is easier than 99%.
Say what?
Yes!! When we stick to something 100% it’s far easier than if we give in to even 1%. If we decide to quit smoking and allow even a few puffs here and there, how hard would it be to stay quit? Or have you truly even “quit” if you still dabble in it?
The same goes with eating sugar or junk food! If we stay away from it 100%, it becomes solid in our mind and is actually easy! If you give in and even have one chocolate or a few chips, then how HARD does it become not to have more?
The same rule applies to exercise. If we allow our exercise to slide even 1%, how hard does it become to get back or stay on track after that? I am currently away from home at a conference in Florida for a week with very long days and minimal sleep. But this is no excuse not to be 100% with exercise and superfood. No way was I going to let my health slip because of travel … I know how hard it would be to get back on track if I allowed even 1% slip! I digitally streamed my workouts on laptop and got my early morning MMA workout in, in a very small 6×6′ space and had a delicious superfood shake afterwards. Once you have decided to commit 100%, then no excuses will be valid, and it will be much easier!
It is true that our well-meaning 99% effort actually becomes exhausting since it consumes more energy without producing results! It is actually stressful! It makes us feel like a failure when we are not — we just haven’t fully committed to something. Putting only 99% effort into things that really matter in life means we are constantly falling short of our potential — and feeling bad about it.
It boils down to decision and commitment. If you quit smoking, then in your mind, you need to 100% not touch cigarettes…then you can identify powerfully and with certainty as a ‘non-smoker’. Because even 1% use still means you are a smoker!
Jack Canfield puts it in this way “99% is a b*tch, and 100% is a breeze”. If something is tugging at you, then you likely have been “99-per centing” too long!
Comment below about some habits that you need to change? What have you been 99% on that feels so difficult? Give 100% a try, you may find that it will change your life as it changed mine!
CLICK HERE to get a free download about how to get started with a clean eating lifestyle
COMPLETE THIS FORM, to join the upcoming “love-yourself” fitness challenge group for February 2017! To get some idea what a challenge group is about first before you sign up, watch the video HERE.
I remember the days when I was regularly pissed off with myself because I was not slim, didn’t look like I “should”, didn’t have enough money like others, didn’t drive a nice enough car, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not successful enough etc… until I realized that this was a society comparison trap!
OMG! What others have or do has nothing to do with me!
Until we really open our mind and think about it, we don’t even realize we are thinking this way and much of it is unconscious based on what we have experienced or heard in our lives about what who we “should” be or do in the world. I realized that thinking this way will make us perpetually unhappy and definitely affect our ability to feel good about ourself!
How to change this though?
Part of how I improved on this way of thinking and get out of this “trap” was to study myself and learn about my personality and discover what strengths as an individual that I bring to the world. Only then was I really able to appreciate my uniqueness and abilities. I am still working on this, but it has made a HUGE difference in how I feel about myself! ?
In this process of self-discovery, I am learning to love myself. It’s probably the hardest thing I have ever done.
Remember…we are individuals and have our own uniqueness which truly makes us who we are! Learn to love those special things that make you who YOU are and realize that comparing is a total (most often subconscious) trap!
Exercise: Ask yourself what you are currently unsatisfied about in your life. Take a few minutes to write it down on a piece of paper. What did you notice or feel bad about yourself when you were in your school years? What about you seemed different from others, but you wanted to change it to be more like other people? What were your dreams as a child that were squashed by others opinions or by societal norms? Lets have some discussion about this in the comments section below!
To contact me directly, please fill out the contact form HERE.
The New Year is here (can you believe it is 2017… wow!) and Summer is right around the corner, seriously, it is! That is how fast time flies. But the good news is… you are in the drivers seat of your life! There is no time better than right now to start your journey. But in order to tackle these crazy tough Beachbody workout routines, you need to arm yourself with the right tools to guarantee your success. Not going to lie to you, whatever program you are attempting, the work is hard and the commitment is relentless but the rewards that follow are so amazing, so grand, so epic! The time to start is now and I am here to help you achieve that success you desire and those results you absolutely deserve!
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MY JOURNEY
My name is Diane Gudmundson and I am a Team Beachbody Coach. My journey started two years back when I was 45 years old. I had just topped the scale at 196 lbs. for my 5’8″ frame. Being out of shape was only the tip of the iceberg. I was unhealthy and was on medications for anxiety, body pain and sleeping issues. My hair was falling out, my skin was dry and flaky, and my nails were cracking and peeling. My gut was not functioning properly, I was having pain when trying to use the bathroom with bleeding and even was having difficulty peeing! I was a mess!
My doctor gave me a good physical examination, arranged numerous blood tests and a colonoscopy. It was found that my blood results were normal, the colon was 100% normal The worst part, through all of this, was that I had lost all my self-esteem and confidence. All this at 45 years of age! So, if all my tests and examinations were normal, what did this mean?
This definitely was an aha moment!
The first step of my journey was to find a nutrition plan (not a diet) that was going to work for me and work for the rest of my life. I love to eat all kinds of food, and I was not going to deny myself one of life’s most pleasurable experiences. Avoidance was not an option, limitation and moderation was how I would succeed. I studied clean eating and portion control and with a simple weekly plan implemented clean eating into my life.
I also knew I needed to incorporate an exercise routine. I choose P90x as my first program. Now let me just reiterate how out of shape I was. I couldn’t even go up a flight of stairs without getting winded, I could only do a couple pushups on my knees (barely) and could not last more than a few minutes when trying to do jumping jacks! I had aches and pains constantly, back and knee pain, and really was poorly motivated to do any physical activity. When I went horseback riding, my back pain got even worse, so I lost my motivation to go riding as as result!
I was not going to give up hope!
When I popped in that first workout DVD in on Day 1, I barely was able to do any of it. But I knew if I just made tiny improvements each day, just little baby steps, I was putting myself on the right path towards success.
I could sit here and tell you that it was easy, and that all it takes is a bit of willpower and go for it. Well, it doesn’t work that way and it has absolutely nothing to do with willpower. Changing your lifestyle, changing your body, changing your mind and the way you think, changing almost everything about yourself (including limiting beliefs and emotional issues) in order to reach your goals is going to be the toughest thing you will ever attempt in your life. I struggled, I failed, I hit obstacles, but these difficulties are all required, this is what makes it the greatest journey in the world. If a path is easy, it does not build our strength and capacity!
Support and Accountability works!
I could not have done it alone though and needed all the support that I could find. I found a Beachbody Coach and then participated in an online Accountability Group. I can honestly say that if I hadn’t done this important step, I would never have succeeded! Since completing that first then second round of p90x, I went on to complete Focus T25, 21 Day Fix and 21 DF Extreme, PiYo, Insanity Max 30, Body Beast, P90, 22 min hard corps, and Core de Force! I am loving this because I never get bored and, by switching up my fitness programs regularly, I am getting optimal results! Currently I am doing a mix of Core De Force and The Master’s Hammer and Chisel which has now become my all-time favorite program combination!
Much Happier and now 42 pounds less!!
Currently I am 154 lbs. and I am now in the best shape of my life! Even though I love looking toned and muscular, the way I feel emotionally and physically and my ultimate health is what is most important! I am healthier now at 47 then when I was 25! Oh, and I am happier now than I have ever been in my entire life too! (I am one happy Granny! LOL)
Healthy, Happy and energized for life are three ways to explain how I now live. Now, I want to give back, pay it forward, and share that experience with you and share all that I have learned.
Are you ready to make a change?
If you are ready, ready to make that change, ready to learn, ready to arm yourself for battle, ready to be motivated, ready to be inspired, ready to be accountable, ready to own it and earn it, then I will do everything in my power to ensure you cross that finish line and find success in all your goals.
Take a minute to consider BOTH of these options!
To join an online accountability group with me as your coach, please take a few minutes to fill out the application here.
2. To receive a free PDF download about how to get started with a clean eating lifestyle, CLICK HERE
It sometimes takes a little detective work to uncover the root cause…
The other day I asked my Facebook followers a very personal question. “For those of you who feel you are overweight, what do you honestly think the reason is for you being overweight? No judgment here, I’m just interested in the answers.”
The comments that came in were surprisingly varied and honest.
Of the many answers given, the following list of twelve reasons is a culmination of common themes and answers given.
See if any of them hit a nerve with you personally.
A lack of control and willpower. I make excuses for myself and lack balance when it comes to health.
I am stressed. Stressed with the kids, overwhelmed with life, and not getting enough sleep either.
I’m overly busy at work and home. Often that leads to not planning meals or packing healthy food for the day, or not eating enough. I’m pretty sure that’s affecting my weight.
I hate exercise (or can’t exercise due to medical issues)
Emotional eating and other bad eating habits have plagued me for years. Maybe since childhood. And I struggle to believe I can change it
I’m a sucker for junk food. Sweet, salty, bring it on. I can’t resist.
I just plain love food. Lots of it. Pass the potatoes. And the gravy too.
I think my biggest problem is laziness. It’s too much work to cook. Or exercise. And especially to be consistent with it. Sometimes I can do it well for a while, but then I fall off again, which makes me feel like giving up.
I don’t care. There are more important things than health and fitness. I’m fine the way I am.
My physical and mental limitations make me overweight. (depression, hypothyroidism, boredom, hormonal issues, PMS, digestive issues)
I’m going through a major lifestyle change – there’s not time!! (Just had a baby, changing jobs or schedules, new marriage, moving to a new home, death in family…)
I try and try, but keep falling off the wagon. Why BOTHER?! It’s depressing and embarrassing to fail at this all the time. Hard to get motivated with that going on…
That’s not all. Many women also said they didn’t like the feeling of being overweight. Which makes sense.
As these varied answers show, there is no one reason for why we’re overweight. It should be obvious then that there is also no one solution. Still, we think there is, don’t we? Exercise and eat right. That’s the magic fix for everyone. But that’s just behavior. Behavior is always driven by something deeper.
Ultimately, to fix the problem, to actually make a lasting change, we need to understand the root cause.
Once we glimpse what’s driving our behavior, we have a chance. Then we can change our beliefs or behavior to lead to transformative change.
Which of the 12 reasons did you most identify with? Mention them in the comments, or feel free to add your own reason.
CONTACT ME here, if you would like help to dig deeper, identify and resolve your own ROOT cause (many times, its not obvious and we are not even aware of it!) to make longer term success easier and more possible for you.
After 3 nights in a row without proper sleep, I am beginning to wonder how I am going to function if this continues.
Not sure why my brain doesn’t seem to want to go to sleep, perhaps it is part of my abuse recovery… I am on what I am calling my “emotional fitness journey” especially intensive over the last month. It has been a challenging path to take and honestly, some days, I feel like quitting the journey and just going back to my “tough” self that never had any problems.
Sleep is one of those things that is important for brain function and we don’t realize just how much. Yesterday, at clinic, by half way through the shift, my thinking felt slowed, cloudy, eyes were burning, ears were ringing and felt some serious fatigue. Ate a few mint chocolate squares to liven me up, which seemed to work for a few minutes, then subsequently I felt worse instead of better. Challenging to get through the last part of the shift this way!
I did some research on sleep recently and founds some interesting facts about what the brain does while we are sleeping! There were 5 that I found most interesting!
Firstly, while we are sleeping, our brain helps to process complex data, to aid with decision making when we are awake! Its amazing how much our brain processes while unconscious!
Secondly, While we are sleeping, the brain creates and consolidates memories. For this reason, sleep is VERY important for learning and retaining information. Also, having good sleep PRIOR to learning, prepares the brain better for initial formation of memory. Hmm, maybe pulling those all-nighters to study for exams and write papers were not such a good idea!
Thirdly, sleep helps to boost our ability to have creative connections. In an unconcious state, the mind can make surprising creative connections that it won’t make while awake! Have you ever waken up in the morning after a good sleep with new “aha” moments?
Fourthly, a very important function of sleep is for the brain to do a little housekeeping. This process allows the brain to flush out toxic materials that build up while we are awake! Apparently, without enough sleep, these toxins can build up and lead to cognitive diseases.
Fifth, while sleeping, our brain learns and remembers the process of how to perform physical tasks. These things could include dance moves, new golf swing techniques, running form, etc. During REM sleep, our body transfers these to a longer term memory area, so that they become more permanent in our minds.
Given the significant processes that occur during sleep, its no wonder my brain didn’t want to work properly after no sleep. I have learned that no amount of caffeine, chocolate or sugar in the day will fix that! In fact, having these substances, can affect the quality of your sleep the upcoming night again!
With all of the research, and looking at just how important sleep is, I have come up with 5 ways to improve my sleep:
Minimize caffeine intake (chocolate, coffee, iced tea, other drinks and more). Caffeine can take up to 18 hours to completely clear from the body, so even the morning coffee can interfere with sleep quality! (this issue can get worse at we get older too!)
Avoid bright screens/computer for at least an hour prior to sleep. Bright light can interfere with our natural melatonin and sleep cycles! Also, what we are reading on those screens may be too stimulating instead of relaxing!
Meditate or think deeply about things that are stressing me or bothering me prior to going to bed and write them down on a piece of paper beside the bed and give myself permission “not to worry about them until tomorrow”.
Have no screens or TV in bedroom. Bedroom to be used ONLY for sleep.
What other suggestions do you have for me about how to improve sleep? Have you had issues sleeping and found a solution that works for you? Please share your suggestions in the comment box below!
The holiday season and gathering time is upon us! It is a great time for celebration with co-workers, family and friends. The down side is that it also tends to become a time for over-indulgence and weight gain!
Why is this important, you ask?
Some statistics show that people gain an average of 8-12 pounds the last 3 months of the year between Thanksgiving, Halloween and Christmas Celebrations. If something isn’t done about this, this can lead to a LOT of extra weight and health issues. Who wants that!?
Just because we are in the holiday season, doesn’t mean we have the open ticket to gorge ourselves! The holidays do not have to cause weight gain if you think differently about it, have a different focus than food and follow a few tips to stay healthy.
By implementing a few simple tips you can stay healthy through the holiday season and change your focus to the activities, the fun and the true meaning behind the holiday celebrations.
9 TIPS to Help you out:
Avoid Focusing on Food…
Take focus off the food part of the celebrations. Focus on the true reasons you are getting together with others you care about such as catching up with people you have not seen in awhile, focusing on the Christmas Season and its true meaning, and participating in some fun activities such as cards, skating, making decorations, walks to check out locally decorated homes or just to enjoy the fresh air.
Have Realistic Expectations…
Be realistic. Don’t make your main focus about losing weight during the holidays. Just focus on maintaining the best health possible while avoiding gains.
Exercise Daily…
Make time for exercise every day. Exercise reduces stress levels during holidays and certainly contributes to your efforts of preventing weight gains! Consider adding extra exercise to your regular routine due to the potential increase of calorie intake during this season. An example could be an extra 30 min cardio session or even a brisk walk each day.
Avoid Skipping Meals…
Avoiding skipping meals. Be sure to have healthy snacks such as fruits, veggies, raw unsalted nuts, and/or fat free plain yogurt prior to going to a celebration or party to avoid being too hungry! This way there will be far less temptations!
Watch those Unhealthy Fluids…
Be sure to be careful about the amount of unhealthy fluids you drink. Many beverages are packed with fat and sugar (especially some egg nog and cocktails). Alcohol is a dangerous one to be drinking if you want to stay healthy since it reduces our inhibitions generally, can lead to increase snacking and over-indulgence. Also, alcohol tends to be full of calories and sugar!
Scan for Healthy Options…
When you go to an event or party, have a look at what foods are there before you start filling your plate. Choose the foods you like in small amounts and try to balance your plate to be lighter on the calories with salad and vegetables (and avoid heavy sauces). If you know there will not be any healthy options available, consider bringing your own healthy food with you or bring a healthy meal to share with others!
Cook Healthier at Home…
When doing your own holiday cooking, try to cook with the healthier, lower fat, lower sugar and lower salt alternatives. For example, you can put the gravy in the fridge and skim the fat off the top once it hardens. Use more vegetables in your stuffing instead of breads and use low-sodium broth to cook with. Remove the skin off your meats and trim any visible fat. When you make mashed potatoes, try using skim milk, garlic, low sodium broth, and Parmesan cheese instead of whole milk and butter.
Eat Slow and Stop when Full…
Eat slowly and stop once you are satisfied. Don’t keep eating until you feel over stuffed. Enjoy your favourite foods in small portions. Take in the surroundings, enjoy the people you are with and have fun without over indulging on foods or drink. You will feel much better afterwards!
Enjoy and Find a Way to Burn off the Extra Calories…
If you happen to overeat at a celebration, don’t be down on yourself. Just exercise more and eat lighter the following few days. We can make up for the small indulgences by having a plan! So if you really want a butter tart, have one, but consciously have a way to make up for it.
In summary,
Be sure to enjoy all of the holiday festivities, plan to be healthy and focus on enjoying the real reasons for the holiday celebrations and avoid over-focusing on food.
Be sure to make time for physical activity and cook as healthy as possible for your holiday meals.
Don’t restrict yourself from enjoying your favorite holiday foods (find a good way to make up for the extra calories!).
Once the holiday season is over, your mind and body will thank you!
Please comment below with your thoughts on keeping weight off over the holidays! Any other tips you might suggest?
BONUSES FOR YOU
Learn how to eat Clean: To get a free PDF download about the basics to get started with a clean eating lifestyle, CLICK HERE
Have me as your Coach: To read more about me and why I would like to be your coach and help you get healthy and fit….see it here! To join my next fitness, fat burning and nutrition challenge, message me HERE.
Stress leads to unwanted gains or difficulty losing
We women struggle with weight.
Especially if we’re over thirty or forty.
Without our permission, weight begins to add itself to our waistline.
Even if we’re eating well and exercising! It’s so unfair.
What’s worse, and what adds to the injustice, is the advice of some medical professionals to “get used to it” because it’s “just how it is”. “This is aging, sorry.” “Nothing you can do about it.”
That, my friend, is bunk. Baloney. Boohockey. Bull.
There is absolutely something we can do about pre-menopausal weight gain.
I know this not only as a medical professional. I know not only as a fitness coach whose clients experience success. I know because I LIVED it. I was middle-aged, over-weight, and desperate for a solution. And I beat it.
Middle-aged, pre-menopausal, unbalanced-hormone induced weight gain is absolutely something we can influence and even conquer.
There are a few factors that worsen or improve premenopausal symptoms (like weight gain). We’ve talked about a few of them. Today I want to address one of the big ones.
It may surprise you to learn that stress impacts both our hormones and fat storage.
Medically Speaking
Cortisol is a hormone that regulates both hunger and fat storage. The more stress you have, the more Cortisol is released. This hormone causes fat storage, particularly around the mid-section.
At the same time, this flooding of hormones also suppresses the thyroid which is in charge of our metabolism. So, chronic stress lowers thyroid function which slows metabolism – another cause for fat storage.
Translation: Stress tells our hormones to store fat.
This is meant to fuel the fight or flight response stress historically required. If you were a cavewoman, stressed out by the cougar stalking your family, your body would fuel you for the fight. Today, in our culture, we need not flee or fight to battle the stressor. Demanding children, insufficient finances, high demands at work, or difficult relationships are our stressors. These modern stressors are dealt with more internally. So all the fuel gets stored instead of used.
That storage warehouse is located on our midsection. Aren’t we lucky?
What To Do About It
Despite this process being knitted right into our DNA, we actually can regulate how our body works. We’ve talked about balancing hormones with food and exercise, but let’s address stress. How can we combat stress?
Let’s start with how not to combat stress: hiding in any unhealthy behaviour or substance will actually do the opposite – it will cause more stress. Over-eating, over-shopping, alcohol and drug use, and over-use of media and screens can all be tempting as a way to unwind or relax, but they actually do us harm.
Food, drugs, and alcohol fiddle with our hormones (and internal organs), over-shopping can pinch the wallet, adding more stress, and over-use of media and screens leaves us feeling empty, lethargic, and sedentary.
I started with how not to reduce stress because reducing stress is actually highly personal. There’s no ‘one list’ of specific things to do that will, guaranteed, reduce stress for everyone. One person will be energized by being with a group of friends, and another will be exhausted by it for example.
I can offer ideas though. People have found the following to be energizing, relaxing, and refreshing. Try them out. Experiment. See what lowers your stress level. Then keep it up. Add it to your regular weekly (or daily) schedule. This is not about a quick fix, it’s about maintenance. Health is a long-game, not a fast food.
Ideas to De-Stress:
Meditation and/or prayer
Hang out with friends
Play with your kids
Do something active (skiing, tennis, snowmobiling, quadding, walk, jog, bike, hike, swim…)
Read a book (one you enjoy, not one that feels like homework)
Take a day off – do no work. No house work, no yard work, no thinking about work.
Check out open houses, window shop in a store you love,
Get a spa treatment – massage, manicure, or a nice long hair treatment
Go on a retreat, spend some time reflecting.
Even when we eat well and exercise, a high-stress lifestyle can stall any fat-burning success we seek.
Health isn’t a tactical approach. (as Westerners, we hate this, I know. We want results and we want them now!) But health is holistic. It’s a process of maintaining health on all fronts, not just one. We need to focus on clean eating as much as we focus on exercise, as much as we focus on minimizing stress. This is what it takes to thrive in health.
If you’re tempted to feel overwhelmed by this, thinking, “well, I’m not getting them all right, so I may as well do none of them”, don’t give up!!
New habits are hard to establish, and old ones are hard to break. Keep trying. Then try some more. Change one small thing at a time. Think progress, not perfection. It’s the long game, not fast food.
Don’t give up.
You can do this.
Please take a minute to COMMENT on this article! I would love to hear from you!
Stress can totally work against our body’s healthy function.
We women often demand much of our bodies.
Too much sometimes.
We have demanding and stressful careers. Family responsibilities. Our spousal relationship may not be the best. Aging parents can add to the burden. It all adds up to a lot of stress, which takes its toll on the body.
What we find out too late though, is that stress can actually trigger early menopausal symptoms.
If your body is under even a moderate level of stress and over the age of thirty, it’s possible your stress is to blame for pre-menopause. Check out this list of symptoms to find out if it might be happening to you:
Do You Have These Pre-Menopausal Symptoms?
• Irregular menstrual cycles
• Light or heavy menstrual flow
• Lumpy or tender breasts
• Fibroid tumors
• Endometriosis
• Mood swings
• Water retention and bloating
• Sleep problems
• “Foggy, fuzzy” thinking and memory lapses
• Anxiety and depression
• Inability to handle stress
• PMS
• Hot flashes and night sweats
• Vaginal dryness
• Weight gain
If so, you may be on the long (often more than ten years!) path to menopause.
(Quick pause here – menopause is the body’s cessation of the menstrual cycle. But it doesn’t happen overnight. Pre-menopause is the body’s long process of preparing. It slowly reduces the degree and frequency of ovulation until finally it does not happen anymore. The process results in hormonal imbalance, which produces many of the above symptoms.)
What most women don’t know is that we have the power to change it.
We can influence our hormonal balance.
But it’s going to take a bit of work. Because we’ve been wrecking our hormones for a while. Incrementally, every day, our habits actually work against us, pulling our hormones in directions they shouldn’t go.
Other ways we women ravage our hormonal balance include obesity, lack of exercise, poor nutrition, and excess caffeine and alcohol. These add to the problem instead of helping the body cope with what is demanded of it.
Effects of Hormone Imbalance:
Low sex drive
Bloating
Weight gain
Headaches before menstrual period
Mood swings
Irregular periods / excessive bleeding
When hormones are balanced, we tend to feel more alert, energetic, and ready to take on the challenges of life!
So how can we tell if the pre-menopausal symptoms are, in fact, happening because of hormone imbalance?
That’s an important question. Because stress, age, and lifestyle choices are not the only consideration. Some of the symptoms listed can be signs of other conditions. That’s why it’s important to consult a physician or nurse practitioner with knowledge and experience in the area of hormonal balance. (I’m one.)
But I kind of don’t want to tell you. Because I’m afraid you’ll roll your eyes and say, “Pfft. I knew that.” But sometimes the most powerful truths are the ones you’ve heard a thousand times from a hundred different places … but you may have just preferred to keep your head in the sand.
Trust me, I know. I’ve been there, done that.
Okay, here’s the deal.
Rebalancing your hormones can be simple, but takes the work of doing these things:
Reduce caffeine (did I lose you already? Come back! You can do it!!)
Reduce alcohol (yes, you can do it.)
Exercise regularly (If you hate exercise, you probably haven’t tried these fun programs)
Eat clean. (If you’re really new at this, just start with eating some kind of vegetables every day. Or add one superfood shake a day….perhaps join a clean eating challenge to learn more)
Reduce stress (Meditate, schedule some quiet time every day and every week, using that time to do something that recharges you.)
I’ve been where you are.
I’ve been fatigued, unbalanced, and unaware – and I’m a Nurse Practitioner!! So don’t feel bad. It happens to us all. At least you’re not stuck, right? There IS something you can do.
And I can help you through it.
Need a health or menopause coach, or some advice on which exercise program to try out? I’m your woman.
Have some questions you’d rather not post in the comment section? Contact me here.
Or, if you are having the pre-menopause symptoms above, some hot flashes and night sweats and are looking for some natural solutions, download this free PDF!
There I was in front of the opened fridge, searching for peace.
It had been the kind of long, frustrating day no commute could erase. Maybe it was the two patients I’d seen whose troubling stories broke my heart. Maybe their struggles with depression and emotional trauma had hit a little too close to home. Now, an unstoppable string of painful memories threaded its way through my mind.
“I thought I dealt with this already. Why am I rehashing this again?” I sighed and closed the fridge.
Nothing in there would fix this ache in my heart. And it certainly wouldn’t stop the rerun of disturbing images through my mind. I’d have to deal another way. Without snapping at people. Without rolling my eyes and sighing at them. Without withdrawing or stuffing my face.
It’s crazy, isn’t it, how things that happened decades ago can trigger negative behavior in the present. Even stuff we’ve dealt with. Forgiven. Accepted and learned from. Or thought we had.
Many coaches say that forgiveness (and, I’d add, dealing with trauma) is like peeling an onion: it has a lot of layers, and each one makes you cry. I’ve certainly found this to be true as I worked through each painful layer of my past.
The weird thing was that I couldn’t force it. I couldn’t hurry up and heal, or race to the next level. Each layer of healing seemed to come when I was ready, and it would always surprise me when it came.
Like this week. I never saw it coming. But suddenly something like a patient’s suffering can stir up a mess of memories I didn’t realize I still needed healing from.
When that happens, my behavior can get weird. I can suddenly find myself in the fridge, or any other number of bad habits I once had, to help me deal with the pain. Overeating (some kind of carb with peanut butter and jam), staring at TV, grumping at my family, and ignoring my friends.
Has that ever happened to you? Has something triggered old painful memories and sent you headlong back into rotten old habits you thought you’d kicked?
It’s not a bad thing.
I mean, we definitely need to find a way to avoid those negative behaviours. But here’s the thing. Once we become aware of what is triggering our behaviour – once we realize the connection between our past experiences and our current behaviour – we can short-circuit the effects of those old wounds.
We don’t have to continue to be hurt by our past.
We don’t have to let past pain hurt our present.
Practically, what this looks like for me (once I recognize what’s triggering my behaviour) is to close that fridge door and walk in the opposite direction of that loaf of bread. I’ll try to find a quiet place to sit down and let the memories come. I will, once again, (again!!) decide to forgive and let it go, just as I had before. Then I’ll fix my mind back on the present – on my current goals – and choose a behaviour that fits with that.
Instead of going to the fridge to feed my feelings, I resolutely choose to engage with my daughter and grandson. We’ll play a game, talk, go outside for a walk, read a book or sit and play with toys – whatever it takes to engage in healthy activities.
We can break free from our past, from hurt. But it takes some self-awareness and the willingness to choose a new path, one scary, difficult layer at a time.
How to you shake free from past hurts when they come knocking?
I adore watching him plod through tall grass. It’s up to his knees in places and he pushes through every step to get where he wants to go. If there’s a mud puddle in his way, he marches right through it. Thick mud tries to hold him fast, but he tugs and yanks without stopping, until his feet are finally free, and continues right on wherever he was determined to go.
Watching him made me think of all the times I’ve had to plod through tall grass in my life – abuse, divorce, relentless weight gain, rejection, working out at 4:00am – sometimes I pushed through, and sometimes I gave up, turned around, and went back the way I came.
Toddlers, I discovered, know the secret to health, fitness, and falling off the wagon.
They don’t hold themselves up to impossible standards like we do. To them, life is one big experiment. Some things they try work, and other times they fall down and get a big ugly bump on their face. They don’t seem embarrassed by it though, and it doesn’t keep them from trying again.
I love that. We can definitely learn from their example.
Time and again, clients will start a fitness program or a clean-eating plan, and within a few weeks, they’ll stop. Give up. Quit. The reasons are many – scheduling issues, the cost, or a lack of planning or time.
Then they beat themselves up for failing, and feel even worse than when they began.
But toddlers know something we need to know. Life is not perfect, and neither are we.
The bumps, bruises, and hang-ups they constantly, continuously, endlessly encounter do not beat them.
To them, life is an experiment. Some things will work, some won’t.
It’s about progress, not perfection.
This is the lesson we need to learn.
Progress requires experimentation, and experimentation will result in fails.
We need to allow ourselves to fail.
Maybe the Plyo workout isn’t for you. Maybe it’s too intense or your wrists can’t handle it. Don’t give up, just try something else. There are loads of choices. Maybe weights, kickboxing or jogging. Try swimming or sports. Just don’t stop!
If counting calories stresses you out, don’t stop managing your diet, just try another method. Try portion control. Or introduce shakes. Or focus on making one small, positive change and holding to it every day. There are lots of ways to make progress.
Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection.
The amazing thing about allowing yourself to fail is that your expectations change.
Now you’re not holding yourself up to some impossible standard. Suddenly it becomes about one thing – the smoothie. Didn’t work? Try different recipes, different times of day, or have juice or a salad instead. It’s okay. We’re experimenting to see what sticks and what doesn’t. The great thing about fitness is that there’s no one way to health.
Progress, not perfection.
Sometimes we need to just take a cue from the inspiring little people around us.
They’re smarter than we think.
What is one thing you do to get back on the wagon after a fail?
